Lawyer 2.0

Today is my 30th birthday.  The following is an actual (paraphrased) exchange I had with my brother, circa 9:30 at night, when he called to wish me a happy birthday.  Please note that my brother is about 10 years older than I am, and I have been giving him shit about being an “old man” for years.

Me:  Well, you’ll still always be older than I am.

Brother: Yeah, well, I’ve already accepted it.  And wait until you hit 40.

Me:  I know.  I woke up all sore and achy this mornning and I thought, “[my brother] has been going through this shit for 10 years.”

Brother: You know, they say that 50 is the new 40.  If that’s the case, then I don’t want to know what 50 was like back then.

Me: No, 50 is the new 40 for people who can hit the racketball court every day and get regular botox injections.  Not for guys like us.

Brother: You mean, guys like us who are 75 pounds overweight and beaten down by life?

Me: Exactly!  I think that’s going to be my new status update on Facebook.

So, if you know me IRL, and are wondering why my Facebook status reads (or read) “75 pounds overweight and beaten down by life,” now you know.  And, as my childhood tutors G.I. Joe taught me, knowing is half the battle.